Burnt Out


Have you ever felt like you are just sick of your job? That there is no way that you can keep getting up and doing the same thing over and over again? Have you been at work and some young thing is all excited over a new policy or strategy and you don't give a damn because you have been there and done that so many times that it just doesn't matter? Well, I felt that way last year. And I did something about it.

We had a new principal and new teachers with new ideas. But those ideas just didn't seem to match my old ideas. There were a lot of things that I faked last year, mostly because I didn't want to start anything, and it wouldn't matter if I did. The middle school teachers started getting a little argumentative about everything and that also didn't help matters. They were the teachers that had been there forever. You know the type. They had attended the school as kids, their parents and grandparents went to the school and God help you if you disagreed with them on anything. They would let you know. I tried to argue with them over a long-ago old policy that wasn't working anymore and before you knew it, we were in an emergency meeting with the principal, and I was the bad guy. 

Enough was enough. When the letters of intent came out, I thought long and hard about it. Would I come back? Would I just say nothing and then drop the bomb on them that I was leaving? Would I just sign the damn thing and let them know now that I had no intention of going back? Did I even give a rat's ass? Well, I finally signed the letter letting them know that I would not be returning the next year. I thought that I did the right thing. I didn't want to burn any bridges. But I signed that letter in April, and I still had 2 long months of school to go. 

Well, they were some long months! I don't think that there was anybody who didn't ask me why I was leaving and what would I be doing? Was I retiring? Going to another school? Getting a totally new job? Why did I have to be doing anything? And why was it their business? I was very aloof with my answers, mostly because I really wasn't sure what I was going to do. But I never doubted my decision to leave. 

Now, I sit here on this bright, beautiful October day. I am on the porch, typing my blog. The sun is shining, and the leaves are changing colors. I am building a tutoring business, enjoying my grandkids, and looking forward to a Florida vacation. I would like to say I miss teaching, but I don't. Sure, I miss the kids that I got to teach, and I did make some friends. But I am good with my decision. 

So, I am hopeful for the future and grateful for my past. May you have the guts to work on you and follow your dreams. You never know what is ahead of you and sometimes you have to take the risk.

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